Ditty Family Learns to Adjust Without Children at Home

* For the past 28 years, the lives of Jack and Juanita Ditty have been intertwined with their six children. But when Kramer Ditty left for University of Kentucky this fall, the Ditty's once-full nest was suddenly empty.

"When people would ask me before Kramer left for school what I though, I told them, 'I think it's going to be great. I can finally sit down and relax,'" said Juanita, the stay-at-home-mom. "I really though it would be good. But it's been tougher than I thought. There's a lot of emptiness."

There would be even more lonesome times for Juanita when Steve and Amy Lochow (her oldest daughter) moved to Greenville, S.C. They took with them the Ditty's two grandchildren, Haven and Torrin, whom Juanita had baby-sat for the past couple of years.

"I was baby-sitting for the little girl at least every other day and then she had a little boy," Juanita said. "Right now, I want some more grandchildren."

The Ditty's children are scattered throughout five different states.

» Oldest daughter Amy, 28, is a pediatric doctor in Greenville. She played college tennis at Furman and graduated from medical school at University of Kentucky. Her husband Steve is an orthopedic surgery resident.

» Jay Ditty, 26, is an emergency room resident at West Virginia University. He graduated from the UK medical school as well. Jay loves to kayak.

» Jenny Ditty, 25, lives in Nashville where she is an attorney. She graduated from the UK law school.

» Julie Ditty, 23, lives in Nashville and graduated from Vanderbilt University with a degree in elementary education. Her teaching career is on hold as she pursues a dream of playing professional tennis. Julie has been successful on the satellite tours after being a two-time All-American while at Vanderbilt.

» Christy Ditty, 21, is a senior at UK where she is majoring in journalism and economics. She plans to pursue a law degree.

» Kramer Ditty, 18, just began his college career at UK.

"We are definitely empty-nesters," said Jack Ditty, a local dermatologist. "It's been a big transition for us. It's a change in life. You go through changes all the time. Our life is no less full, not in the least. I think I have more goals than I ever had in my life. There's a problem if you get kids so far, and that's all there is. You just shrivel up. I learned the value of setting on-going goals. It's really the journey, not the end destination. I enjoy every day."

Jack Ditty — always extremely involved in his children's activities — has not let their absence keep him from being active. Jack has taken up golf, bird-watching, and still studies Russian and German. He's always been an active tennis player, and has begun taking lessons again. And there's some new adventures, like helping his old fraternity at UK, Delta Tau Delta, raise money to build a new fraternity house in Lexington. "That's been a tremendous opportunity for me to reconnect with old friends," he said. "I've been calling guys all over the country."

Jack Ditty, 53, said he also enjoys the time he spends with his wife doing things like traveling, walking, jogging and going to movies. "We've always loved doing things with each other," she said. "We're lucky in that we haven't grown apart."

The couple returned from a trip to San Francisco a few weeks ago where they visited China Town and biked across the Golden Gate Bridge.

"Jack told me the other day I needed some more goals," said Juanita, who is also 53.

When Jack was building his practice, Juanita's life revolved around her children. She had food prepared for them when they arrived home from school every day. "One of my goals in life was to be the best mom I could be," said Juanita. "I came from a broken home, so that was really important to me."

Jack and Juanita found themselves in a revolving door at their home, rushing from one activity to the next. "We had six children, and we weren't there at every single event for every child," Jack said. "e did the best we could for the time we had. We wee 100 percent committed to being parents and being supportive. We're no less so now."

Juanita said that she talks to her children daily, sometimes even two or three times a day. "Jenny's called three or four times today," she said. " I've already talked to Kramer and Julie today. We travel to see them as much as we can."

Now that the kids are gone, Juanita said that she thinks of things she wishes she could have done for them. "If I had to give anybody any advice, it would be: You don't know how fast this time goes by," she said.

* Taken from The Daily Independent, Ashland, KY Tuesday, October 22, 2002